Dedicated to "The Girl's" !!!

Thirty nine years ago, about this time, my Mom was about to begin cobalt treatments, after having had a radical mastectomy of her left breast, the previous month.
It was the scariest time of my life.
She had gone to the doctor because she thought she had a goiter. Wasn't even aware of a huge lump in her breast !
When the pathology report came back, 23 out of 25 nodes were malignant, and knowing what I know now...I'm sure it had already metastisized everywhere. She had lost her battle with cancer, before she had ever started it.
In april of 72, they did an exploratory lap, and basicly opened and closed her. It had spread to her liver, the doctor said, and she might have somewhere from 2 to 6 months, and, No...there was nothing else they could do.
See, chemo and the more sophisticated radiation treatments that they use now, didn't exist back then.
She had 2 months.
She died on Sunday, June 4th, 1972, about 5 am, at the age of 46.
I was seventeen, and my little sister was fourteen.
Our lives changed completely after that.
Some of the changes were for the better tho, actually.
I stopped doing drugs...see, corny as it may sound, she could see everything I was doing now...or, so I thought...couldn't hide anything from her anymore.
I made a promise to her, that I would try to live my life in a manner that she'd be proud of, and I pretty much have tried to honor that promise for the last thirty-eight years.
So, see...God really doesn't close one door that he doesn't open another...but, I sure miss her.

Flash forward, a dozen or so years, to Jan of 80.
We had just moved into our new house.
I was up on a step-stool, hanging curtains, when someone knocked on my back door.
I stepped down, opened it, and Clara Bell walked into my life, carrying a coconut pie, and became the best friend, confidant, mentor, big sister I never had.
We just "clicked" !
Just like that !
There wasn't a day that went by, that we didn't talk to each other.
She taught me how to sprig grass, plant flowers, cook some amazing dishes...so much.
I can't count the times I called her and began our conversation with, Clara, how do you do this or that...and she could usually tell me !
She was there when I had what "I" thought was gas, and convinced me it was really and truely LABOR PAINS , and carried me to the hospital... where, just a couple of hours later, I had my second child.
She was there if I needed a friend, or even if I didn't.
She was there.
It was either the 4th of July or Labor Day of 81 ( I just remember it was HOT) we sat on my patio and she asked me to feel this bump in her breast.
Well, chills went down my spine, and the hair on my neck stood up, and even tho, I really just wanted to get up out of that chair and RUN, I didn't...
I touched what felt like a BB in her breast, which, to me...after the HUGE lump in Mom's breast, didn't qualify as CANCER !
No... that had to be a GOOD thing...RIGHT ?
Still, I harped and bitched and made her PROMISE me she would go to the doctor.
She did, and even THEY thought it was nothing, but decided to biopsy it, just to be safe...
Poor Clara...normally, when they do a biopsy, they also have you sign the consent to do a mastectomy IF the preliminary comes back as cancer.
They were so sure it wasn't cancer, that they didn't do that with her, so when she woke up and found out she still had her breast, she thought everything was ok.
it wasn't.
They did the mastectomy the next day, and she then, endured the most grueling regimen of chemo and radiation I've ever know anyone to do.
A full year and a half of it...and, never lost a blonde hair on her head either !
God love her, she'd have chemo on Monday afternoon, because she was off on Tuesdays...would spend most of that day hurling her toenails up, and then be out spriggin' grass that evening !
Toughest chic I have ever known in my life.
She made it past the five year point too...and then it came back....bone cancer.
Clara was a devout Catholic. She attended Mass every week..sometimes more than that.
Served as an extraordinary Minister in our Church, visited the sick, cooked meals for them, taught Sunday school....the whole nine yards...and she truely loved it.
She grew up infatuiated with the Miracle of Lourdes and Fatima...and, when five children began seeing the Blessed Mother everyday in Medjugorie (former Yugoslavia) she was estatic.
She made two trips to Medjugorie, and on her second visit there...in December, before she died in Feburary of 90, Vicka, one of the visionaries, chose Clara out of an audience of hundred's, and asked her to have lunch with her.
Clara went...and, she asked Vicka if it were wrong to pray for the miracle of a healing ?
Vicka replied..."Sometimes the miracle is in the journey...not the healing."
Clara came home and decided, no more chemo...no more radiation...and showed us all how to die with dignity on Feburary 2oth 1990....about 10:30pm, at the age of 46.
Two of the most important people in my life...gone.
Breast Cancer got them...and, even now...whenever I hear of someone ...finding a lump...having a biopsy...finding Breast Cancer...chills run down my spine...the hair on the back of my neck stands up, and I want to absolutely RUN from that fear....even though I know several times as many women who have survived !
You can survive it...so...
PLEASE....family...friends....aquaintance's....CHECK YOUR BREASTS...HAVE YOUR MAMMOGRAMS....LIVE !